I’m totally old school when it comes to makeup on teens and tweens. Of course, I was the one who snuck the stuff onto the bus in sixth grade, put on a full face, and then wiped it all off on the way home. I’m not sure what compelled me to wear makeup at a young age (since I didn’t start using it again until the age of 40), but I think it was a way to flex my strong-willed muscles as a form of tween self-expression.

Throughout my youth, I went through a radical exploration of self. There was the preppy year that shifted into the Goth year. Then later in college, I explored the sorority years that transformed into the hippie years. It was all in an attempt to figure out who I was and where I belonged. Now as a mother of a tween girl, I’m anticipating similar phases—hopefully, less dramatic—and I need to evaluate my role of allowing too much space for Olivia, my daughter, to express herself and not enough.

My decisions are challenged daily by my peers.

In a flip floppy world of parenting styles, I’ve landed on my tactic: guided self-expression. If I become a part of her conversation (regarding social media, dress, modus operandi, etc.) in a way that is inclusive and supportive, rather than judgmental, I feel I’m allowing her to exercise her decision-making process just enough and within the boundaries I suggest. Hopefully, this will result in a well-adjusted teen. We’ll see. It’s what we all hope for, right?

This summer, as a means of self-expression, Olivia wanted to adorn herself in beautiful henna designs. I jumped to the occasion because 1.) Henna is temporary and non-toxic, 2.) Henna tattooing is a pretty cool ancient art, and 3.) If she gets good at it, maybe she can set up a stand at the local music festival and actually earn some money off of her craft.

So we tackled this fun summer project together and, so far, she has not tired of it.

Because I’m a stickler for chemical-free ingredients, we bought organic henna powder, instead of the pre-made tubes, and mixed a concoction ourselves. Now in our free time, we’re both practicing our designs together. And when Olivia’s friends come over, she has an artistic outlet to share with them, too, as they research and create new designs on each other.

And she hasn’t asked me, even once, if she can wear any of my LimeLight by Alcone lip-gloss, blush, or eye shadow. (As a skincare consultant, I have boxes of the stuff!) To me, this is a sigh of relief and it gives me just a glimpse of hope that maybe, just maybe, I’ve chosen the right parenting path. Sure, I know there will eventually come the day when she will want to wear makeup—probably to school and because everybody is doing it! But we’ll stick with the henna for now because it is fun and oh so summery!

Here’s our protocol for chemical-free, DIY henna tattoos:

Making the paste:

1 box Silk & Stone natural henna powder

1 ¼ cups lemon juice

1 tablespoon cane sugar

15 drops Plant Therapy organic tea tree essential oil

15 drops Plant Therapy organic lavender essential oil

1 henna bottle with applicator tips

1 glass mixing bowl

2 Ziplock sandwich bags

* Measurements are approximate. It is more an art, than a science.

1. Place all the ingredients in a bowl and mix them together until you reach a thick mashed potato consistency.
2. Cover with plastic wrap pressed down on top of the henna mixture and let it sit in a warm area for a minimum of 4 hours (or preferably overnight) for the dye to release. * Some henna may take up to 24 hours for dye release.
3. After setting, test dye release by placing a small amount of henna on the inside of your wrist, wait five minutes, and then wipe it off (don’t use water). If you are left with an orange stain, it’s good to go.
4. With a spatula, scrape the henna into a Ziplock bag. Cut a tiny hole in the corner of the bag. Squeeze the contents of bag into the applicator bottle.
5. Use another Ziplock to seal the remaining product and store it in the freezer.

* Note: We made half the recipe at first to assure we did it right. A half recipe makes at least three small bottles of henna.

To apply:

1. Choose the applicator tip that works best with your paste. If your paste is too thick, remix in small batches with a few drops of warm water.
2. Apply a design to your body. * Some areas of the body take stain better than others. Experiment with your own skin.
3. Allow the henna design to dry for at least 2 hours if you can.
4. Scrape or pick off the henna (we do this outside in the grass). Do not wash it off with water!
5. Protect your design with unrefined organic coconut oil or olive oil. We like to use LimeLight’s Must Dew because it nourishes the skin in addition to protecting the design.
6. Your design will darken within 24 hours and will last up to two weeks if you keep it moisturized.

Have fun and know that you are doing your tween right!